Thursday, October 4, 2012
Summer of Restoration and Reflection.
In June 2012 I had a major back surgery to stabilize and fuse my 5th lumbar disk slipping even more forward from my sacrum. I was born without a small vertebrae bone in my back and as I got older my disk was slipping forward by over 50% and causing alot pain when standing and doing anything. So with alot of prayer and supplication I decided it was time to "fix" my physical problem that wasn't going to just go away but get worse with possible nerve damage if I didn't have surgery.
I can honestly say the pain level after the surgery was way worse than natural childbirth x 2. The surgeon said I had quite alot of scar tissue without even having surgery before so he had to "mess with " it to get it fixed. I had four screws which are quite long (over an inch in length) and two rods inserted with a cadaver bone used as a spacer in between my disks. So needless to say I was taking some heavy duty pain meds right after surgery. I am happy to say I am so thankful that that month after surgery is behind me and I am fairly active 4 months out but not totally without pain yet. But I am confidant in my prognosis of having a some what pain free existence in the future.
I had a great job at a winery working part time selling premium wines and helping with events and weddings at a beautiful winery. After a long recovery and being out at least 3-4 months I was ready to go back to work with trepidation because my job was very physical having to stand for long periods of time and lifting heavy object which is forbidden after fusion surgery for at least the first year for a perfect recovery. My doctor wrote up a job limitation form and I submitted it to my employer and after about a week I was called up and was told they could not have me come back to work because of the doctors limitations. At first I was devastated because I really did love my job (not all the time mind you) and hurt you know because I had worked there for over 6 years, almost 7 and had made alot of friends who were customers and coworkers of course. I felt rejected because they needed someone whole and I was not whole yet.
Then I started to understand what my sister and daughter were saying to me even before I got my dreaded phone call. They were saying I should not go back to work doing this same physical stuff after such a life changing surgery and to let my body heal completely and not to worry about a job or money because God will take care of me no matter what. Of course they were telling me this because I have a husband who has a nice retirement and works part time. If I wasn't blessed with this I would be in dire straights financially. But I do have that and we still have to watch our penny's. I have also been getting a little state disability which takes the sting of no income at all even if it is a small amount, it helps buy some groceries.
I am saying all this stuff because I have had to be dependent on my husband physically because I could hardly get out of bed after surgery and using a walker to total financial dependence. I even had to use a porta potty in the bedroom and stay in my bedroom for about a month without going upstairs because I shouldn't and couldn't. He even had to chart all my medications because I could not remember how much or when I took the pain medications. I was out of it for about a month.
All these things are said because I am thankful for his help and being able to shoulder my recovery without complaining and to show how the body restores itself after such a invasive surgery. If you saw my xrays after surgery with all the screws and rods it would freak you out. I am so thankful for my dogs who never left my side in recovery when I was stuck in bed in pain. My golden retriever slept with me after I came back from the hospital right after surgery. (she was on top of the covers -not inside the sheets) She was a great comfort to me and I think she knew I was in tremendous pain and suffering. I love her and my big boy yellow lab.
Now I have to figure out how to generate some money since I don't have a paying job and am quite unemployable in the standard sense and disabled right now. My sister, daughter and husband have encouraged me to pursue my painting full force and put my creativity out front and center. Before my surgery in June I remodeled my art studio and made it more organized and beautiful for this day. Now I am making some jewelry with my images on pendants and will start gearing up for a small show October 13th. My dream is to have several outlets to sell my work and maybe even set up an Etsy store in the future if possible. It has taken me about 3 months post surgery to even get to the level of playing in my studio because the medications I was taking caused me to be foggy and I could not focus on anything, There was a medication for nerve pain that made me dizzy and forgetful. Boy I am glad those days are over.
So this surgery did change my life or at least open up an new chapter in my life. My progress is slow but deliberate and restorative. I will hopefully look back at this time with heartfelt thankfulness to my family, my surgeon who was fantastic and to the Lord who is looking out for me. My job at the winery did not define me as a person. I have to get over that. My focus is my health and happiness and family and I will also focus my energy on creating paintings and jewelry.
Nancy
I can honestly say the pain level after the surgery was way worse than natural childbirth x 2. The surgeon said I had quite alot of scar tissue without even having surgery before so he had to "mess with " it to get it fixed. I had four screws which are quite long (over an inch in length) and two rods inserted with a cadaver bone used as a spacer in between my disks. So needless to say I was taking some heavy duty pain meds right after surgery. I am happy to say I am so thankful that that month after surgery is behind me and I am fairly active 4 months out but not totally without pain yet. But I am confidant in my prognosis of having a some what pain free existence in the future.
I had a great job at a winery working part time selling premium wines and helping with events and weddings at a beautiful winery. After a long recovery and being out at least 3-4 months I was ready to go back to work with trepidation because my job was very physical having to stand for long periods of time and lifting heavy object which is forbidden after fusion surgery for at least the first year for a perfect recovery. My doctor wrote up a job limitation form and I submitted it to my employer and after about a week I was called up and was told they could not have me come back to work because of the doctors limitations. At first I was devastated because I really did love my job (not all the time mind you) and hurt you know because I had worked there for over 6 years, almost 7 and had made alot of friends who were customers and coworkers of course. I felt rejected because they needed someone whole and I was not whole yet.
Then I started to understand what my sister and daughter were saying to me even before I got my dreaded phone call. They were saying I should not go back to work doing this same physical stuff after such a life changing surgery and to let my body heal completely and not to worry about a job or money because God will take care of me no matter what. Of course they were telling me this because I have a husband who has a nice retirement and works part time. If I wasn't blessed with this I would be in dire straights financially. But I do have that and we still have to watch our penny's. I have also been getting a little state disability which takes the sting of no income at all even if it is a small amount, it helps buy some groceries.
I am saying all this stuff because I have had to be dependent on my husband physically because I could hardly get out of bed after surgery and using a walker to total financial dependence. I even had to use a porta potty in the bedroom and stay in my bedroom for about a month without going upstairs because I shouldn't and couldn't. He even had to chart all my medications because I could not remember how much or when I took the pain medications. I was out of it for about a month.
All these things are said because I am thankful for his help and being able to shoulder my recovery without complaining and to show how the body restores itself after such a invasive surgery. If you saw my xrays after surgery with all the screws and rods it would freak you out. I am so thankful for my dogs who never left my side in recovery when I was stuck in bed in pain. My golden retriever slept with me after I came back from the hospital right after surgery. (she was on top of the covers -not inside the sheets) She was a great comfort to me and I think she knew I was in tremendous pain and suffering. I love her and my big boy yellow lab.
Now I have to figure out how to generate some money since I don't have a paying job and am quite unemployable in the standard sense and disabled right now. My sister, daughter and husband have encouraged me to pursue my painting full force and put my creativity out front and center. Before my surgery in June I remodeled my art studio and made it more organized and beautiful for this day. Now I am making some jewelry with my images on pendants and will start gearing up for a small show October 13th. My dream is to have several outlets to sell my work and maybe even set up an Etsy store in the future if possible. It has taken me about 3 months post surgery to even get to the level of playing in my studio because the medications I was taking caused me to be foggy and I could not focus on anything, There was a medication for nerve pain that made me dizzy and forgetful. Boy I am glad those days are over.
So this surgery did change my life or at least open up an new chapter in my life. My progress is slow but deliberate and restorative. I will hopefully look back at this time with heartfelt thankfulness to my family, my surgeon who was fantastic and to the Lord who is looking out for me. My job at the winery did not define me as a person. I have to get over that. My focus is my health and happiness and family and I will also focus my energy on creating paintings and jewelry.
Nancy
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